This sharing is an honest and vulnerable testimony of God's goodness and how He so amazingly reminded me of His sovereignty.
It was with much apprehension that I toed the line. I had not been feeling well for the previous six days and even at that very moment I was not feeling sharp. Yet I knew it was my last chance to try to qualify for SUniG, having foregone the earlier trial two days ago due to even greater illness. This was a second chance.
It was with much apprehension that I toed the line. I had not been feeling well for the previous six days and even at that very moment I was not feeling sharp. Yet I knew it was my last chance to try to qualify for SUniG, having foregone the earlier trial two days ago due to even greater illness. This was a second chance.
Looking at the rankings, I knew I had to beat one other on the list if I wanted the chance to run for SUniG, barring of course, unfortunate circumstances that may require one of the starting six to pull out.
The structure of SUniG was of a cross-country race. Six runners would start, with the top four counting for points based on position. The first position would get 1 point, second 2 and so on. The institution with the lowest number of points would place first and so on. There were two reserves, who wouldn't run but would be prepared to do so if the need arose (ie one of the six was unable to).
The rankings were tight. I expected I'd put in a 23-24min performance, bearing in mind my ill but recovering health. One runner had run a sub-21 (in fact, he'd ever run a sub-2.50 full marathon), another ran a sub-22. There were 3 that ran 22ish so far. I wasn't thinking about that as a possibility. The timing I was certain I could beat was the sixth ranked runner's timing of about 23:29, but there was a catch.
That 23:29 runner was running the trial again. And I knew he was most certainly capable of a sub-23 performance if he paced it well. That runner was Yuan Yi.
As I looked at the field of just above 12 of us, I didn't detect anyone likely to run in the range I intended, apart from Yuan Yi of course. He did mention he was planning a sub-23, while I genuinely felt a 23-flat performance would be a brilliant run that day. I could only hope for favourable circumstances for me that could take me past him somehow. That probably would manifest in the form of perfect pacing by me and less than perfect pacing by Yuan Yi.
"Line up against the curved line," announced coach as he prepared to flag us off. He informed us he would tell us the 2 and 4k splits, while also taking note of how many laps we had run. Yuan Yi took the inside of lane 1 while I lined up just lateral. We were off.
22 seconds at the 100m, that was good. Yuan Yi was a few metres ahead, that was good. His lead seemed to grow for the back straight, yet stabilised thereafter. He seemed a perfect pacer if this continued. But if this continued, I didn't see how I could be one of the six runners either.
The first lap was passed in 1:32 on my Garmin, perfect according to my plan to run a 23-flat race. I was feeling comfortable. Gradually over the next 2-3 laps, I closed the gap. I wanted to follow, but I also desired to knock off reasonable efforts every lap. This resulted in me taking the lead.
For the next many laps, we ran together. I was mostly in the lead, which wasn't favourable because Yuan Yi was extremely close. No significant signs of fatigue. I sensed the shadow (the floodlights were switched on) lurking too near for comfort. I knew he was breathing more rapidly than I was - though I do breathe rather slowly, even when at my limits of exertion. With each lap that he stuck to me (and in retrospect, we were running a mild negative split), my earlier glimmer of hope was fading even if my pace wasn't. I knew that Yuan Yi ran the 1500. Meanwhile, my strength was in pacing.
With every passing my lap, my concern grew. The kick. I needed to drop him soon or else I knew I would be dropped. Easily. I was not at all sharp from the week-long illness that had plagued me and was still bugging me.
Lap 12. Still with me. Lap 13. Still with me. Lap 14. Still!
And we hit the "bell". He quickly went into the lead and every ounce of hope seemed to fade. I tried to muster a response, but the body simply could not perform in its sub-optimal state. I don't recall breathing very hard, nor hurting very much. Sure, I could feel a slight burn in my legs, nothing unexpected in a race of this distance. Yet, more than anything, I was flat.
The heart sank as the gap grew. I wanted to give my best, to feel the burning pain in my legs, to rapidly ventilate. Sadly, my body seemed unable to muster any further effort. I had done so much work in leading the majority of the race. I knew it was a race that I had planned well in my head, yet the crucial part - running the legs out of him - was unsuccessful. Yet I still did whatever I could, though the lead became insurmountable. I did what I had prayed for. To give my best in the state I was in that day. And down the straight, I stopped my watch in 22:47. At the very least, it was a PB, with the average pace better than any race I had ever ran over even 5km. It converted to a marginal sub-19 5km race.
I congratulated Yuan Yi. I was really proud at his performance. He ran a blistering 77 last lap to finish in 22:38, getting the better of even Lester's timing. No doubt I was disappointed at my inability to outpace him. However, the spirit of a distance race manifests in the knowledge of shared perseverance, with everyone having to expend their physical reserves to the point of vulnerability. He ran the first trial on Tuesday in a poorly-paced effort of 23:29. I missed the chance. This trial on Thursday was the last opportunity, my second chance. I laid out the best I could offer under my circumstances and it seemed to just fall short of my intent. I gave praise. That very morning, 18 August, as I read Our Daily Bread, the article was on prayer. It described King Abijah, a king whose heart wasn't fully devoted to God. Yet in his need, he cried out and his kingdom was delivered. It seemed absolutely relatable. I had been struggling with my faith. Yet the passage was reassurance that in my desperation, the Lord would hear. Our Heavenly Father is loving and surely He had placed my passion in running for a reason. Perhaps, though not necessarily, it would manifest in successful ways by human standards as well, given my discipline in my pursuit.
For the next many laps, we ran together. I was mostly in the lead, which wasn't favourable because Yuan Yi was extremely close. No significant signs of fatigue. I sensed the shadow (the floodlights were switched on) lurking too near for comfort. I knew he was breathing more rapidly than I was - though I do breathe rather slowly, even when at my limits of exertion. With each lap that he stuck to me (and in retrospect, we were running a mild negative split), my earlier glimmer of hope was fading even if my pace wasn't. I knew that Yuan Yi ran the 1500. Meanwhile, my strength was in pacing.
With every passing my lap, my concern grew. The kick. I needed to drop him soon or else I knew I would be dropped. Easily. I was not at all sharp from the week-long illness that had plagued me and was still bugging me.
Lap 12. Still with me. Lap 13. Still with me. Lap 14. Still!
And we hit the "bell". He quickly went into the lead and every ounce of hope seemed to fade. I tried to muster a response, but the body simply could not perform in its sub-optimal state. I don't recall breathing very hard, nor hurting very much. Sure, I could feel a slight burn in my legs, nothing unexpected in a race of this distance. Yet, more than anything, I was flat.
The heart sank as the gap grew. I wanted to give my best, to feel the burning pain in my legs, to rapidly ventilate. Sadly, my body seemed unable to muster any further effort. I had done so much work in leading the majority of the race. I knew it was a race that I had planned well in my head, yet the crucial part - running the legs out of him - was unsuccessful. Yet I still did whatever I could, though the lead became insurmountable. I did what I had prayed for. To give my best in the state I was in that day. And down the straight, I stopped my watch in 22:47. At the very least, it was a PB, with the average pace better than any race I had ever ran over even 5km. It converted to a marginal sub-19 5km race.
I congratulated Yuan Yi. I was really proud at his performance. He ran a blistering 77 last lap to finish in 22:38, getting the better of even Lester's timing. No doubt I was disappointed at my inability to outpace him. However, the spirit of a distance race manifests in the knowledge of shared perseverance, with everyone having to expend their physical reserves to the point of vulnerability. He ran the first trial on Tuesday in a poorly-paced effort of 23:29. I missed the chance. This trial on Thursday was the last opportunity, my second chance. I laid out the best I could offer under my circumstances and it seemed to just fall short of my intent. I gave praise. That very morning, 18 August, as I read Our Daily Bread, the article was on prayer. It described King Abijah, a king whose heart wasn't fully devoted to God. Yet in his need, he cried out and his kingdom was delivered. It seemed absolutely relatable. I had been struggling with my faith. Yet the passage was reassurance that in my desperation, the Lord would hear. Our Heavenly Father is loving and surely He had placed my passion in running for a reason. Perhaps, though not necessarily, it would manifest in successful ways by human standards as well, given my discipline in my pursuit.
I cheered the others on as they continued their trials. It was natural to do so. It was natural in sport to do so. We set our goals, we do our part, we acknowledge the outcome and we spur others on in their own goals, in their own journeys to their finishes.
22:47. That was fast this given day. Was that actually enough? One of the freshies had run a 22-odd trial. I never expected beating that time, previously predicting I would run 23-flat. It was worth a check.
The hunch was real. 22:48 was Zuo Hong's time. One second. That was all. It was indeed a second chance.
I lived in apprehension for the next few days. I knew I was in the team that comprised of eight. The question was, did I place well enough to be one of the six running, or would I serve as a reserve. Trials were still ongoing and anything could happen.
Chun Hong informed me that weekend that I was indeed one of the six. Quite a number were aware of my potential chance of making the first six and it was a joy informing them of my success. I praised God, acknowledging the opportunity He had given me to execute the time trial. And despite the disappointment of finishing behind Yuan Yi, I had finished, based on timing, a single second ahead of Zuo Hong. I would dearly treasure this chance, a second chance.
This hurdle was over. I had made the first six and would don the NTU colours with much gratitude. The next hurdle is getting to race day healthy and prepared. We shall see.
The hunch was real. 22:48 was Zuo Hong's time. One second. That was all. It was indeed a second chance.
I lived in apprehension for the next few days. I knew I was in the team that comprised of eight. The question was, did I place well enough to be one of the six running, or would I serve as a reserve. Trials were still ongoing and anything could happen.
Chun Hong informed me that weekend that I was indeed one of the six. Quite a number were aware of my potential chance of making the first six and it was a joy informing them of my success. I praised God, acknowledging the opportunity He had given me to execute the time trial. And despite the disappointment of finishing behind Yuan Yi, I had finished, based on timing, a single second ahead of Zuo Hong. I would dearly treasure this chance, a second chance.
This hurdle was over. I had made the first six and would don the NTU colours with much gratitude. The next hurdle is getting to race day healthy and prepared. We shall see.
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