Here's a little reflection on the multiple weeks with a bout of injury and how it has shaped my perspective. The experience with injury was very much influenced by prayers and a book - Living For What Really Matters. Personally, perhaps the greatest reminder was to be clear of my priorities (and importantly their motivations). This excerpt from here is a timely reminder.
"He made some of the greatest men of faith wait.
Don’t be discouraged if He makes you wait as well.
He will come through for you, just like He came through for them.
“Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” – Psalm 27:14"
If you're interested in reading the additional lengthy chunk as I make daily updates on my thoughts and experiences, beginning from the onset (19th March 2015) up till end April where I'm convinced it has probably resolved, take a look below. To sum it up, my injury was a period of emotional distress for me. However, I recognise the disparity between a state of mind and immediate emotions. We are called to rejoice always (Philippians 4:4) and are promised peace (Philippians 4:7) when we present our requests to God. I did seek Him daily, recognising His sovereignty. Though emotionally, I was constantly affected by the tumultuous episode, I ultimately managed to rejoice and find peace.
19 March 2015
14km run on the treadmill, laced my really old (mid-2012) pair of New Balance RC1400s tightly.
Mild pain between the 3rd and 4th toes, anterior to the metatarsophalangeal joints.
Prayer for Surrender during QT.
20 March 2015
8km run around Bishan Park in the army Asics pair which was a little tight. Foot acts up about 4km into the run, I run through the ever increasing pain and complete the run. The affected area appears mildly swollen and red.
21 March 2015 - Race day
2km run around the estate. Pain after 1km.
Carnival Run 5km - pain while walking to race venue and during the brief warm-up, no pain during the race.
22 March 2015
Rest. Occasional pain.
23 March 2015
Occasional pain.
6km run around the estate, 31min bike, 1km run. No noticeable pain.
24 March 2015
Pain present. Attempted a loop around Macritchie. Pain escalated early, decided to turn back at Ranger Station. I decided I needed to rest the weekdays and evaluate the matter. Recollection of my prayer of surrender - was this a lesson I needed to learn from?
Area is slightly swollen.
25 March 2015
Occasional pain, slightly frustrating. Swelling and redness has subsided.
Swim and bike.
26 March 2015
Occasional pain, frustration and worry. Area is slightly swollen with redness.
27 March 2015
Occasional pain. Some swelling for no known reason. Some frustration and worry, yet reminded of my prayer to surrender. Prayed to be able to surrender and grow from the experience during DG, prayed that Your will be done, not mine.
Swim and aqua-jogging. Strength session ending with bike.
28 March 2015
Pain rarely present, though noticeable if area is palpated. Area is slightly swollen.
Bike and swim.
Praying for surrender.
29 March 2015
Pain rarely present, though mild pain noticeable if area is palpated.
Short strength session and bike.
Hopeful for recovery, reminding self to slowly ease into activity when it happens.
Prayer for surrender, growth and trust in Your will that will be done.
Wrote today's note along with the other days that preceded it, though attempting to capture my previous thoughts are freshly as they surfaced at that time.
30 March 2015
Pain seems to be gone unless area palpated. Yet upon deliberate flexion of toe, some uncertainty is experienced.
Bike and aqua-jog.
Prayer to surrender, seem to be coming down with a flu. Apt messages from Living For What Really Matters, covered the issue of reassessing motives in life's pursuits.
31 March 2015
Pain not noticeable unless deeper palpation. Probably down with a viral illness - runny nose, eyes, general lethargy, no fever. Perhaps this illness just gives me the time to rest my foot more. I'm probably quite at peace with this, unlike previously where I may have tried forcing in a run. As always, praying for surrender and for the purification of motivation.
1 April 2015
Pain not noticeable unless deep palpation. Recovering from illness, played a simple game of badminton with Matthias. The illness may be a slight blessing in disguise in keeping me from running, thereby allowing more recovery.
2 April 2015
Almost recovered from the illness. Simple strength session and 4km run on the treadmill, stick work with Noel thereafter. I'm not sure if I'm merely overly conscious, but the pain near the toes seems slightly more prominent, though only upon palpation.
3 April 2015
The pain has returned after a short jog in the morning. I'm unable to convincingly ascertain if the trigger was the previous evening's run and stick work or this morning's run. There's pain upon weight bearing and walking, though it gradually subsided as the day progressed. The pain is more extensive than what I was experiencing for the past week, radiating further towards the ball of the foot. I'm really uncertain and rather frustrated as diligently resting it seemed to help it subside to undetectable levels (unless palpated deeply), yet return to activity brought rapid return of the pain. I'm concerned that this may be a chronic condition, affecting more than merely my goals in running - but in all land sports, in army, even in walking. I recall more than two weeks ago I prayed about surrender. Little did I know that I may have encountered such a tumultuous route. Right now, I don't know where I am along the journey. I can only trust in God's providence and recognise that His will is beyond my comprehension. Eventually, whether my body is physically restored or not, I choose, right now, to acknowledge His sovereignty and not take back my prayer on surrender.
4 April 2015
The pain has subsided and is less noticeable on weight bearing, though it still radiates towards the ball of the foot. With Run 350 coming up tomorrow, I was in a dilemma about whether I should still participate. I proceeded with a short jog today to test out the effect of a run and it was not quite noticeable upon adopting a faster pace, just like how it felt 2 weeks before. Thereafter, I decided that I would participate - the pain was not significant when running, yet the regret would be significant if I decide not to participate with Ben tomorrow. I'm largely uncertain how things will work out beyond tomorrow. A Tale of Two Esthers was screened in Bartley and I departed with two takeaways. Firstly, I know I will depart from the trial victorious - whether recovered or not. Secondly, I am reminded of my innate passion to perform a physical act of endurance some day. I'm doubtful that God would instil passion and goals, only to disallow them from materialising. Therefore, I have hope in recovery and faith that I will find alternative feats if it may not happen.
5 April 2015 - Race day
Ran Run 350 (10km) with Ben today. As with Carnival Run, there wasn't pain experienced during the run. The run didn't seem to aggravate the situation either, even as I type this out at night. The pain is elicited upon weight bearing and when the region is palpated. I'm thankful I ran today as it was an encouraging time with Ben. We had a brief chat with Dr Mok Ying Ren as well, covering the all important issue of balancing school and sporting interests. Short strength session and bike in the evening. I thank God for today and I certainly write this in higher spirits than the night before, but I remind myself that circumstances do not warrant praise, He does.
6 April 2015
Bike. Pain is subsiding. The race yesterday didn't seem to have any effect. I'm completely clueless as to what exactly has been triggering the symptom, though it's certainly related to some sort of weight-bearing activity. I've decided to arrange an appointment to see an orthopaedic this week. Caught up with Dorothy where we each shared our circumstances that were challenging our faith in God's will, after we "asked" for it.
7 April 2015
Swim and bike. Pain continues to subside and is less diffused. My appointment's scheduled with a sports orthopaedic for this coming Friday. I certainly think this whole process of waiting in uncertainty is helping me grow.
8 April 2015
Swim and strength session. Pain not noticeable unless palpated deeply. All this cross training is getting me interested in trying a triathlon some day.
9 April 2015
Bike. Pain not noticed unless palpated deeply. One of my fears is if the pain will return once I return to weight-bearing activity (after all, I'm not quite certain of the exact trigger). Hope the trip to the ortho tomorrow can uncover a diagnosis as all this while I've been unable to ascertain what exactly happened. Praying for surrender - this being the case for the past few weeks.
10 April 2015
Swim and bike. Minimal pain when palpated really deeply. Visited the sports ortho today. Unfortunately, he did not come up with a specific diagnosis but suggested some forms of inflammation or nerve irritation. To prevent a chronic injury, he recommended another week off running. Personally, I'm planning to adhere to the advice to a significant extent. I will however, introduce short bouts (a few hundred metres) of jogging towards the last few days of the subsequent week. If all goes well, this injury that has taken me off any running training for a month will finally pass.
11 April 2015
I took my weight today and wow, 59kg surprised me. This was about a 3-4kg increase since I stopped being able to run. This was shocking as over the past 3 weeks, I still maintained a decent volume of aerobic work, though aerobic intensity was a separate matter. My HR rarely exceeded 70% (140bpm), with much hovering around the 60-65% range (it's so tough to get HR up and avoiding muscular dysfunction while on the stationary bike or in the pool). I need to remind myself that with the possibility of imminent recovery, as I return to running I need to always be clear of my motivations. A learning point over the recent Old Testament readings comes from 1 Samuel 15:22 (similarly, in Hosea 6:6), where God reminds that He ultimately desires our heart of utter surrender and obedience, not our achievements or the things we'd do for him.
12 April 2015
Strength and bike, ended with a 200-300m jog. I don't think I feel pain any longer. Yet, being undertrained and having the freedom to run is far better than being overtrained and injured.
13 April 2015
Bike, ended with a 200-300m jog. Had the sudden suspicion that there was some pain and erythema around my toes, though the likely explanation was how I've been constantly palpating the region to exclude any pain. Reminded that as much as I'm expecting full recovery this time, God has every right to take away the health that he has provided me. Instead of looking to physical gain, I should look to spiritual growth and Him as He never changes. On another note, managed to get a really discounted pair of the Adidas Energy Boost 2 ESM ($83.65 after discounts) at Novena Square's Factory Outlet. Can't wait to test it out once I hit the roads.
14 April 2015
Swim and bike, skipped the post-bike jog. Avoided palpating the foot to constantly assess its condition. Instead, hoping to just surrender entirely. Wondering whether to get a discounted pair of Salomon Sense Mantra 2 for running in Macritchie (right now I've been using my Puma Faas 300v2 that I got at a discounted $49).
15 April 2015
Swim and bike, skipped the jog once again. Stopped using the topical NSAID (fastum) as I think the foot has recovered completely. Can't wait to get back to running and to try out the Energy Boost 2 ESM. I've many thoughts to return carefully, building mileage to new highs and all. Yet, I know I need to keep God as the centre of my training. Not just my training, but my life.
16 April 2015
Bike and stair climb. Feeling fresh and roaring to get in a proper run tomorrow, adhering (well..somewhat) to the doctor's advice. Honestly I had trouble sleeping as I was anticipating my morning run.
17 April 2015
Run along the playground. Carefully picked route to ensure solid, flat ground hence minimising unnecessary impact. No pain during the run at all. Bursting with joy the first one-odd km before some fatigue started setting in. Fitness has developed dropped but ultimately I'm thankful to be able to run pain free. After showering, applied some the NSAID prophylactically. Evening climb with Joel at the HDBs in Toa Payoh.
18 April 2015
Strength session and evening jog. During the run, there was a mild discomfort in my foot so I promptly stopped and readjusted my shoes, thereafter the foot felt normal. As I ran, I felt a distinct sense of pleasure and joy. Some pain in my left hip flexor.
19 April 2015
Morning long run on treadmill due to rain. Noticed some redness around toes around run but no pain, thankfully. Probably experienced the euphoria of running. Evening gentle run with Aldrea at Macritchie's trails. It's been so long since I've ran there and it's so refreshing doing so! Some pain in my left hip flexor.
20 April 2015
Short late evening run. Decided to stop on NSAIDs as despite the redness previously, there was no other signs of inflammation. Hip flexor pain has subsided.
21 April 2015
Short morning run and mild progressive evening run. Some discomfort in my left leg towards the end of the evening run. Probably due to some friction in the new pair of Energy Boost 2. No more hip flexor pain. Visited sis in the hospital today - the thought that I would be willing to give up running for the return of her health and safety crossed my mind. In addition, if my injuries were restored, I would dedicate a run to her.
22 April 2015
Morning run and evening strength session. Noticed that the pain may be returning. Playing it safe and swapped the evening run for a strength session instead. Back to applying NSAIDs to minimise any inflammation. I'm a bit uncertain of what to expect right now.
23 April 2015
Played it safe, swam instead. The mild discomfort seems to have subsided. I don't know whether this will spiral into another episode of injury again.
24 April 2015
Short morning run and evening tempo. Both runs went fine, no pain. However, there's redness in the feet. The short evening tempo revealed how much running fitness I had lost in the course of the month. However, my first goal is to recover before I can ever dream of running properly. Led DG today and shared on the topic of Growing through Grief and Loss. Particularly relevant for me and family - after my own injuries and the numerous health conditions of family/extended family.
25 April 2015
Short morning run and evening run. Both runs pain free, though redness at the foot. Realised that the morning runs require substantially more effort than what I recall from the past. With the forecasts scheduled to rain nearly everyday for the next few months, it seems I may be fated to end up avoiding Macritchie's trails a fair bit - hopefully flat solid ground improves the recovery of my foot as well.
26 April 2015
Morning run and evening run. Both runs pain free, though redness at foot. I'm gradually more able to return to my original training paces and am certainly thankful for that. Probably I just lost running-specific fitness, not overall cardiovascular fitness. I am thankful with every run and am reminded of this video - where if our passion and abilities correlate, it's likely to be our destiny.
27 April 2015
Morning run and evening run. Both runs pain free around the ball of the feet/toes, though started getting some sharp discomfort at the right plantar region that was relieved by readjustment of shoes. Redness as usual after the runs, hopefully it'll go away soon! Evening's fartlek was exciting after a long break from faster paces.
28 April 2015
Morning run and evening run, both rather short due to the constraints of time. Redness as usual, though no pain. Seems like the redness isn't causing any harm though so it's an aspect I'm willing to live with.
29 April 2015
Morning tempo run and evening run. Finally managed an evening run in Macritchie as the weather was pleasant with no rain at all today - the first time in a long while! The past 5 weeks of reflection on my injury has been a constant reminder on what I hold dear to me. Running certainly is, but I recognise what is greater - such as my faith and people.
1 April 2015
Pain not noticeable unless deep palpation. Recovering from illness, played a simple game of badminton with Matthias. The illness may be a slight blessing in disguise in keeping me from running, thereby allowing more recovery.
2 April 2015
Almost recovered from the illness. Simple strength session and 4km run on the treadmill, stick work with Noel thereafter. I'm not sure if I'm merely overly conscious, but the pain near the toes seems slightly more prominent, though only upon palpation.
3 April 2015
The pain has returned after a short jog in the morning. I'm unable to convincingly ascertain if the trigger was the previous evening's run and stick work or this morning's run. There's pain upon weight bearing and walking, though it gradually subsided as the day progressed. The pain is more extensive than what I was experiencing for the past week, radiating further towards the ball of the foot. I'm really uncertain and rather frustrated as diligently resting it seemed to help it subside to undetectable levels (unless palpated deeply), yet return to activity brought rapid return of the pain. I'm concerned that this may be a chronic condition, affecting more than merely my goals in running - but in all land sports, in army, even in walking. I recall more than two weeks ago I prayed about surrender. Little did I know that I may have encountered such a tumultuous route. Right now, I don't know where I am along the journey. I can only trust in God's providence and recognise that His will is beyond my comprehension. Eventually, whether my body is physically restored or not, I choose, right now, to acknowledge His sovereignty and not take back my prayer on surrender.
4 April 2015
The pain has subsided and is less noticeable on weight bearing, though it still radiates towards the ball of the foot. With Run 350 coming up tomorrow, I was in a dilemma about whether I should still participate. I proceeded with a short jog today to test out the effect of a run and it was not quite noticeable upon adopting a faster pace, just like how it felt 2 weeks before. Thereafter, I decided that I would participate - the pain was not significant when running, yet the regret would be significant if I decide not to participate with Ben tomorrow. I'm largely uncertain how things will work out beyond tomorrow. A Tale of Two Esthers was screened in Bartley and I departed with two takeaways. Firstly, I know I will depart from the trial victorious - whether recovered or not. Secondly, I am reminded of my innate passion to perform a physical act of endurance some day. I'm doubtful that God would instil passion and goals, only to disallow them from materialising. Therefore, I have hope in recovery and faith that I will find alternative feats if it may not happen.
5 April 2015 - Race day
Ran Run 350 (10km) with Ben today. As with Carnival Run, there wasn't pain experienced during the run. The run didn't seem to aggravate the situation either, even as I type this out at night. The pain is elicited upon weight bearing and when the region is palpated. I'm thankful I ran today as it was an encouraging time with Ben. We had a brief chat with Dr Mok Ying Ren as well, covering the all important issue of balancing school and sporting interests. Short strength session and bike in the evening. I thank God for today and I certainly write this in higher spirits than the night before, but I remind myself that circumstances do not warrant praise, He does.
6 April 2015
Bike. Pain is subsiding. The race yesterday didn't seem to have any effect. I'm completely clueless as to what exactly has been triggering the symptom, though it's certainly related to some sort of weight-bearing activity. I've decided to arrange an appointment to see an orthopaedic this week. Caught up with Dorothy where we each shared our circumstances that were challenging our faith in God's will, after we "asked" for it.
7 April 2015
Swim and bike. Pain continues to subside and is less diffused. My appointment's scheduled with a sports orthopaedic for this coming Friday. I certainly think this whole process of waiting in uncertainty is helping me grow.
8 April 2015
Swim and strength session. Pain not noticeable unless palpated deeply. All this cross training is getting me interested in trying a triathlon some day.
9 April 2015
Bike. Pain not noticed unless palpated deeply. One of my fears is if the pain will return once I return to weight-bearing activity (after all, I'm not quite certain of the exact trigger). Hope the trip to the ortho tomorrow can uncover a diagnosis as all this while I've been unable to ascertain what exactly happened. Praying for surrender - this being the case for the past few weeks.
10 April 2015
Swim and bike. Minimal pain when palpated really deeply. Visited the sports ortho today. Unfortunately, he did not come up with a specific diagnosis but suggested some forms of inflammation or nerve irritation. To prevent a chronic injury, he recommended another week off running. Personally, I'm planning to adhere to the advice to a significant extent. I will however, introduce short bouts (a few hundred metres) of jogging towards the last few days of the subsequent week. If all goes well, this injury that has taken me off any running training for a month will finally pass.
11 April 2015
I took my weight today and wow, 59kg surprised me. This was about a 3-4kg increase since I stopped being able to run. This was shocking as over the past 3 weeks, I still maintained a decent volume of aerobic work, though aerobic intensity was a separate matter. My HR rarely exceeded 70% (140bpm), with much hovering around the 60-65% range (it's so tough to get HR up and avoiding muscular dysfunction while on the stationary bike or in the pool). I need to remind myself that with the possibility of imminent recovery, as I return to running I need to always be clear of my motivations. A learning point over the recent Old Testament readings comes from 1 Samuel 15:22 (similarly, in Hosea 6:6), where God reminds that He ultimately desires our heart of utter surrender and obedience, not our achievements or the things we'd do for him.
12 April 2015
Strength and bike, ended with a 200-300m jog. I don't think I feel pain any longer. Yet, being undertrained and having the freedom to run is far better than being overtrained and injured.
13 April 2015
Bike, ended with a 200-300m jog. Had the sudden suspicion that there was some pain and erythema around my toes, though the likely explanation was how I've been constantly palpating the region to exclude any pain. Reminded that as much as I'm expecting full recovery this time, God has every right to take away the health that he has provided me. Instead of looking to physical gain, I should look to spiritual growth and Him as He never changes. On another note, managed to get a really discounted pair of the Adidas Energy Boost 2 ESM ($83.65 after discounts) at Novena Square's Factory Outlet. Can't wait to test it out once I hit the roads.
14 April 2015
Swim and bike, skipped the post-bike jog. Avoided palpating the foot to constantly assess its condition. Instead, hoping to just surrender entirely. Wondering whether to get a discounted pair of Salomon Sense Mantra 2 for running in Macritchie (right now I've been using my Puma Faas 300v2 that I got at a discounted $49).
15 April 2015
Swim and bike, skipped the jog once again. Stopped using the topical NSAID (fastum) as I think the foot has recovered completely. Can't wait to get back to running and to try out the Energy Boost 2 ESM. I've many thoughts to return carefully, building mileage to new highs and all. Yet, I know I need to keep God as the centre of my training. Not just my training, but my life.
16 April 2015
Bike and stair climb. Feeling fresh and roaring to get in a proper run tomorrow, adhering (well..somewhat) to the doctor's advice. Honestly I had trouble sleeping as I was anticipating my morning run.
17 April 2015
Run along the playground. Carefully picked route to ensure solid, flat ground hence minimising unnecessary impact. No pain during the run at all. Bursting with joy the first one-odd km before some fatigue started setting in. Fitness has developed dropped but ultimately I'm thankful to be able to run pain free. After showering, applied some the NSAID prophylactically. Evening climb with Joel at the HDBs in Toa Payoh.
18 April 2015
Strength session and evening jog. During the run, there was a mild discomfort in my foot so I promptly stopped and readjusted my shoes, thereafter the foot felt normal. As I ran, I felt a distinct sense of pleasure and joy. Some pain in my left hip flexor.
19 April 2015
Morning long run on treadmill due to rain. Noticed some redness around toes around run but no pain, thankfully. Probably experienced the euphoria of running. Evening gentle run with Aldrea at Macritchie's trails. It's been so long since I've ran there and it's so refreshing doing so! Some pain in my left hip flexor.
20 April 2015
Short late evening run. Decided to stop on NSAIDs as despite the redness previously, there was no other signs of inflammation. Hip flexor pain has subsided.
21 April 2015
Short morning run and mild progressive evening run. Some discomfort in my left leg towards the end of the evening run. Probably due to some friction in the new pair of Energy Boost 2. No more hip flexor pain. Visited sis in the hospital today - the thought that I would be willing to give up running for the return of her health and safety crossed my mind. In addition, if my injuries were restored, I would dedicate a run to her.
22 April 2015
Morning run and evening strength session. Noticed that the pain may be returning. Playing it safe and swapped the evening run for a strength session instead. Back to applying NSAIDs to minimise any inflammation. I'm a bit uncertain of what to expect right now.
23 April 2015
Played it safe, swam instead. The mild discomfort seems to have subsided. I don't know whether this will spiral into another episode of injury again.
24 April 2015
Short morning run and evening tempo. Both runs went fine, no pain. However, there's redness in the feet. The short evening tempo revealed how much running fitness I had lost in the course of the month. However, my first goal is to recover before I can ever dream of running properly. Led DG today and shared on the topic of Growing through Grief and Loss. Particularly relevant for me and family - after my own injuries and the numerous health conditions of family/extended family.
25 April 2015
Short morning run and evening run. Both runs pain free, though redness at the foot. Realised that the morning runs require substantially more effort than what I recall from the past. With the forecasts scheduled to rain nearly everyday for the next few months, it seems I may be fated to end up avoiding Macritchie's trails a fair bit - hopefully flat solid ground improves the recovery of my foot as well.
26 April 2015
Morning run and evening run. Both runs pain free, though redness at foot. I'm gradually more able to return to my original training paces and am certainly thankful for that. Probably I just lost running-specific fitness, not overall cardiovascular fitness. I am thankful with every run and am reminded of this video - where if our passion and abilities correlate, it's likely to be our destiny.
27 April 2015
Morning run and evening run. Both runs pain free around the ball of the feet/toes, though started getting some sharp discomfort at the right plantar region that was relieved by readjustment of shoes. Redness as usual after the runs, hopefully it'll go away soon! Evening's fartlek was exciting after a long break from faster paces.
28 April 2015
Morning run and evening run, both rather short due to the constraints of time. Redness as usual, though no pain. Seems like the redness isn't causing any harm though so it's an aspect I'm willing to live with.
29 April 2015
Morning tempo run and evening run. Finally managed an evening run in Macritchie as the weather was pleasant with no rain at all today - the first time in a long while! The past 5 weeks of reflection on my injury has been a constant reminder on what I hold dear to me. Running certainly is, but I recognise what is greater - such as my faith and people.
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